Howard's Thoughts
by ElemPsychNCIS1
Summary: What if Howard Stark never died? What if he just simply retired and gave Tony his business? How would he react when Tony came back from Afghanistan? How would he react to his son being Iron Man? Let's take a trip into what Howard Stark would of thought if he was still alive.
1. Chapter 1

Howard Stark was sitting in his apartment in Brooklyn, New York when he got a call that would change possibly the rest of his life.

It had been Tony's best friend, James Rhodes who had told him the news. His son was missing.

After the call had ended he just sat in the recliner his son had bought eight years ago for his seventy-eighth birthday, thinking about what happened to his son. Wondering if they would find him alive, or dead. Could he handle out-living his one and only child?

After sitting in the recliner for what seemed like an eternity, but was only three hours, Howard grabbed his cane, yet another gift from his son, he walked into his bedroom and began packing a bag, while scheduling to be on the next flight to Malibu.

* * *

When Howard got of the plane, he was greeted by Tony's tear-stained personal assistant, Virginia 'Pepper' Potts.

The two exchanged few words as they headed for the car.

* * *

Once the car was on the road, Howard had Tony's chauffeur, Happy Hogan, take them to Stark Industries. It probably wasn't the best idea, but if he was going to help find his son, he needed to put himself in his son's shoes. He needed to see how Tony controlled the company, to see what he's done to make it better.

During the drive to Stark Industries, Howard began to think of the times when his son was younger. He couldn't think of many memories that were good. Most of the memories were of them arguing with or him yelling at Tony. Things between them got better when they looked to each for comfort when Maria had died. For the past sixteen years, things between them had been good. Not great but good.

Howard had given up his search of finding Steve Rogers and spent time teaching his son the ropes of the business, so that he could one day give it to him, which he had done. After passing the business down, they spent time talking on the phone, mostly about Tony's latest inventions.

The last thing they had talked about was the Jericho Missile that Tony was presenting in Afghanistan.

* * *

Finally they had arrived at Stark Industries. Before they had even gotten out of the car, the press had surrounded the vehicle, asking tons of questions about his son's disappearance.

How do they get this information so quickly, Howard thought to himself as he pushed his way through the crowd with the help of Miss Potts and Mr. Hogan.

* * *

Once on the top floor of the main building at Stark Industries, Howard made his way to Tony's office, which had also been his old office.

Tony had had the choice of any office in the building, but he chosen his fathers. Tony had told him, that it was a much simpler choice since the office already had everything he needed to be CEO.

Howard smiled faintly at the memory. He looked around the room and the only things that had really changed was the desk and a few other inanimate objects. The walls still were the same color. The carpet was still the same. The glass display of the Stark Expo was still in its original place.

He walked over to Tony's desk and sat down. He looked at the photos on the desk. He picked one up and looked at it.

It was a recent photo. It had been taken in a small coffee shop in Brooklyn when Tony had dropped by for a visit a few months ago, unexpectedly of course. The reason for the visit, was so that he could get away from work and people bugging him about, well, everything. Ranging from his latest invention to 'What will happen if I cross this two wires?'

Just then Howard's old partner, Obadiah Stane walked in with a bottle of Scotch. Stane sat across from Howard and poured two cups of the Scotch.

The two of them said nothing. There were no words to be said. They were thinking the same thing, but in different ways.

Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks, and still no word on Tony. It had been two months since his son's disappearance.

Miss Potts had allowed Howard to stay in Tony's home, since a hotel didn't seem to be the right place for the former inventor, while his son was missing.

When he had first walked in to Tony's Malibu home, he was surprised by what he saw and heard. When he first heard an electronic British voice he thought he had finally lost his mind. But then the voice, introduced itself as JARVIS, a home system that Tony had built and installed five years ago.

When Howard found a set of stairs that led down to the basement, he figured that's where his son did most of his work. Just like he had when he was Tony's age.

Like father, like son, Howard thought as he continued to look at the stairs.

He debated on whether or not he should go down and see what it looks like, but then he figured that his son wanted everything to be the same when he got back. If he got back.

* * *

After three months of not hearing any word on his son, Howard was ready to give up hope of ever seeing his son alive again.

Then one day while he nursing a glass of whiskey in Tony's massive kitchen, Miss Potts walked in with a smile on her face and tears in eyes.

"What's wrong," Howard asked, quickly. "Did they find Tony?"

Pepper just nodded and said, "He's alive."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: This chapter is going to have a bit more dialogue in it

* * *

Later that week, Howard and Miss Potts were standing on the Air Force's tarmac, waiting for the arrival of Tony.

Whenever he heard a plane in the sky he looked up to see if it was plane that Tony was on. After about an hour passed the estimated landing time, the plane that Tony was on, had arrived.

Howard watched as the back of the plane opened. The first glance at his son in what seemed like forever was a happy one. That was until he noticed some visible, yet healing, bruising on his son's face, the sling that has holding his arm at a ninety-degree angle, the fact that Rhodes was helping him keep balanced as they exited the aircraft.

He then pushed all those thoughts aside and to stepped toward his son.

"Dad," was the first thing Tony said to him as they got closer to each other.

Howard was beyond relived, when he heard his son's voice for the first time in a long.

"Tony," Howard said in return as he embraced his son.

At first Tony tensed and the sudden gesture, but quickly relaxed and put his good arm around his father.

* * *

Howard stood by Tony's side during the press conference.

When he heard Tony tell the press that he was no longer making weapons, he wasn't the least bit fazed. He was always hoping for the day when his son made this announcement.

* * *

Howard found his son and Stane talking next to the arc reactor prototype. He walked in just as Tony was showing Stane something on his chest. The thing had a faint blue glow to it. He never got close enough to see what it really was though.

"Is this where you like to brainstorm, Tony?" Howard asked stepping into the conversation.

"Most of my brainstorming is done in my lab at home," Tony replied as he grabbed his jacket, tie and the sling he had taken off. "Why don't we get out of here and I'll show you my lab."

"Sounds good," Howard agreed.

* * *

Howard and Tony sat in Tony's lab as Tony regaled his time spent in an Afghan cave. Howard knew that no one else will hear these memories for a while. The only reason Tony was telling him, was because he would never dare spill these stories to anyone, no matter what.

"What about the thing in you chest," Howard asked after a while.

"Who told you?" Tony asked, in surprise.

"No one told me. I caught a glimpse of it when you showed Obie," Howard explained. "What is it?"

"An arc reactor," Tony replied, solemnly. "There's a bunch of shrapnel in my chest, heading to my heart, and this thing is keeping it away."

Howard said nothing. He was just shocked and amazed that his son was able to build a fully functional arc reactor in a cave with just a bunch of scraps that came from his own weapons.

"I'm going to need to build a new one soon though," Tony stated. "This one won't last much longer."

Howard picked up on the tone in his son's voice. It was almost as if he saying it was normal to put an arc reactor his chest even though he knew that it was impossible.

"How'd you escape?" Howard asked.

"I built a suit out of what ever weapons and scraps were in the cave. I used it to get out of the cave," Tony said, with sadness in his voice.

"Did something go wrong?" Howard asked.

"I used it to save myself. I couldn't save Yinsen though," Tony replied. "He lost his life to protect me, when I was the one who should of protected him."

Howard watched as his son started to pace and listened as anger and hurt filled his voice.

"Want to know what the last thing he said to me was?" Tony asked as he looked at Howard.

"What did he say?" Howard asked.

"He told me not to waste my life," Tony replied. "I have no idea what he meant by that."

Howard could tell that his son was getting emotional. Which was very rare. The last time Tony was like this was at Maria's funeral. He knew that at any minute Tony was going to lose all self-respect and breakdown completely.

Howard got up from where he had been sitting and walked over to his son saying, "Maybe he meant for you to do good and help stop the people who did this."

"But how do I do that?" Tony asked as a lump formed in his throat.

Howard placed a hand on Tony's shoulder and said, "Build something that will stop them."

That was the last domino, Tony crumpled to the floor and broke down.

Howard got down on his knees and pulled his son into a hug. He didn't care that he was old. He was a father first. Being old came in second.

Tony had probably been holding all this emotion in since he was kidnapped and now that he knew he was safe, he just let all the emotion spill out of him at once and break down.

* * *

Howard and Tony stayed the way they were for a good long hour. When Tony had finally calmed himself down to speak in full sentences he said, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Howard asked.

"Because you always taught me to never let my emotions show," Tony replied as he wiped away the remaining tears. "Correction, you drilled it into me."

"Well I guess it's a good thing I didn't drill you to hard, otherwise you would have held back all those tears and let your anger get the better of you," Howard remarked.

"I had just been so scared of what they might do to me once they figured out I wasn't building them a Jericho Missile," Tony stated. "I knew that I had to come off as strong and unafraid. I knew what they were capable of even without my weapons."

"Do you know how they got your weapons?" Howard asked.

Tony stood up from the spot on the where they had been sitting and said, "I don't know, but I plan to find out. Yinsen told me that they were my most loyal customers. I intend to find out what that means."

Tony then helped Howard up off the floor. Then both of them headed upstairs, via elevator.

* * *

Author's Note: I swear to you I never planned on having Tony breakdown. That part just wrote itself.


	3. Chapter 3

One month later:

Howard had decided to move back to Malibu and live with his son. It wasn't going to be permenant though. That part was clear. He was just going to stay, until Tony was fully back on his feet, or at least until the nightmares were controllable. So far ever since Tony got back, he would have nightmares every time he was asleep.

Howard just thought of everything Tony had been through. His son had given him a very vivid description of his time in the cave, he almost felt like he was there with his son.

The two of them had been spit-balling a lot of ideas on how to stop the Ten Rings, but so far nothing stuck, because they all involved weaponry.

"How about recreating the suit that got you out of the cave?" Howard suggested, suddenly while he and Tony were eating a box of pizza and poking fun at Dummy, the robot.

Tony just looked at Howard as if he was having the same thought.

"That's probably the best idea yet," Tony stated. "I still have the blueprints in my mind. I just need to make a holographic blueprint of it and make some adjustments."

"I can help if you'd like," Howard offered.

"Are you sure you can handle the technology, Pop," Tony joked. "It's a little bit ahead of your time."

"Need I remind you that I built the atomic bomb that defeated the Nazis," Howard stated. "And that I helped you in the invention of holographic technology."

"I'll give you that," Tony replied.

* * *

While Howard and Tony worked on what they called, 'The Mark II', Howard noticed how little his son would sleep, when he threw himself into his work. His son would go days of no sleep and live off of coffee.

At first he thought that his son wasn't sleeping, because he was afraid of the nightmares that have been plaguing him, but after talking to Miss Potts over a cup of coffee, he learned that Tony did this all the time.

Also while he was helping his son, he realized that he felt like he was younger and that he enjoyed helping his son.

* * *

One day while Howard was watching son work, he noticed how dark the circles under his eyes had become.

"When was the last time you had some sleep?" Howard asked.

"I fell asleep for about thirty minutes somewhere around midnight," Tony replied.

"I meant real sleep," Howard clarified.

Tony stopped what he was doing for a moment and thought, before saying, "Four days."

"Why don't you go to bed and take nap for a few hours?" Howard suggested. "Your work will still be here."

"Let me just finish the flight stabilizer," Tony said.

"Since when don't you follow my orders," Howard asked, jokingly.

"Since I built my first circuit board at age four," Tony replied, seriously.

"Just go get some rest," Howard said. "I'll make sure no one touches the flight stabilizer."

Tony put down the screw driver in his hand said, "Yes sir."

Howard smiled at the tone Tony used. He sounded like a five year old being forced to take a nap even though he'd rather play with his toys or play with friends.

Howard watched as a tired Tony dragged himself out of the lab and up the stairs.

* * *

A week later:

Howard stood in Tony's office with Miss Potts as they watched Tony tell the world that he was Iron Man.

Howard had already predicted that his son wouldn't follow Agent Coulson orders and read the cards. Well he did at first, but after a certain question, Tony had totally forgotten the cards and told everyone it was him who stopped the 'rouge robot', aka Obadiah Stane.

"I can't believe him," Miss Potts stated.

"I can," Howard said. "He's never been good with keeping secrets and he likes the spotlight."

"Just like his father," Miss Potts muttered as she walked out of the office.

Howard jut continue to watch the press conference unfold, with pride. He was proud of what his son had become. Even though it taken being held in an Afghan cave, for Tony to realize that he was meant for more than just making weapons.

Howard's smile quickly faded when he realized that this was the first time he had ever really been proud of his son. Sure Tony had done some pretty amazing things in his life, but Howard just brushed them off. It was if he had been waiting for this moment, this event, to be proud.

Howard smiled again, as he watched Tony get off the stage and walk away from all the cameras and unanswered questions.

* * *

Howard watched as Tony re-entered the office a short while later.

"What'd you think?" was the first thing out of Tony's mouth.

"I pretty much predicted you telling the world that you were Iron Man," Howard replied. "And I couldn't be more proud."

Tony just stared at Howard, as the words filled the room.

Howard noticed Tony's shocked expression. It was if his son had been waiting his entire life just to hear those words. Then again it was probably true.

"You're proud?" Tony asked.

"I am proud," Howard stated. "I know your mother would be to as well."

The two of them just fell into a comfortable silence, but that all changed, when Howard started to have trouble breathing. It hurt to even take a small breath.

Tony had noticed this and quickly called for help, while he rushed to his father's aid.

* * *

Howard watched in silence as his son spoke to the crowd.

"My father was a great man. We never saw eye to eye on a lot of things as I grew up, but when my mother died our relationship got better. For the past sixteen years, we talked about my inventions which had been enough for the both of us. The last month and half were different though. He was there for me when I came home from Afghanistan. He helped me through a lot of nightmares I had afterwards. He supported me when I decided to stop making weapons. The last thing he ever said to me, was that he couldn't be proud of the man I had come to be in this short amount of time," Stark told the crowd in front of him.

Howard smiled with so much pride.

After a few more speeches, the crowd left the grave yard. The only people who remained was Tony and Miss. Potts. The two of them watched as Howard's coffin was lowered into the ground, right next to Maria's grave.

Howard moved closer to his son and placed a ghostly hand on his shoulder. Tony shuddered at the touch, but didn't move away from it. It was as if he knew that Howard was there.

"Bye Dad," Tony said, before turning to leave.


End file.
